NY Times Health:
Insufferable Clinginess, or Healthy Dependence? “Psychiatrists often advise a kind of sympathetic distancing: acknowledge the person’s fears; offer some reassurance; but nudge (or push) the person to at least experiment with interests, hobbies or habits that don’t revolve around the relationship.”
Rainer Maria Rilke once said:
“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality
by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good
marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other
to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each
other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people
is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a
hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both
parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once
the realization is accepted that even between the closest
people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side
can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse
between them, which gives them the possibility of always
seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”
That is my philosophy of marriage and relationship, exactly.
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