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sat 07 dec 02

good thing i'm not rich and on a 'secret santa' list, eh?

somewhere along the way, i think i've overdosed on cough drops or maybe peanut holiday m&m's. i've scared a couple of you. relax, i'm going to go be 'normal' for a while now ...

some christmas gift suggestions [i will add to these as time allows]:

forget touch football; try getting a cricket set, and figuring out the rules.

autopsy gifts. the brain gelatin mold is guaranteed to be a hit.

for the sherlock holmes fan, a victorian police lantern. great stuff.

buy or rent a mannequin.

a diving helmet.

electric shoes.

one of my faves, the guillotine cigar cutter. watch your fingers, rose-pierre.

buy an alpaca.

authentic egyptian artifacts.

buy a blimp.

a restorable studebaker bullet nose. then again, even i want one of these: a woodie.

a cast-iron practice bomb.

fortify hockney, and buy a camera lucida.

a $50.00 army surplus jeep. [well, not really.] if you're disappointed, how 'bout a half-track?

buy a radio station in oregon.

an unfinished prototype 2 man submarine, for the do-it-yourselfer.

a cyber-corset.

buy a burqa; experience other cultures. given recent news articles, a good match with vs.

african fabrics and clothing. the dashiki looks really comfortable. wall street should be so intelligent [what good is the modern necktie, anyway?].

for those who need reminders of past history, slave memorabilia.

learn to speak gaelic.

for potter fans, magick wands or crystal balls.

even better ... dinosaur coprolite. for your friends who get all pooped out.

spinosaur teeth.

kangaroo stock whips.

antique poison bottles. [okay, that skeeves me out.]

how 'bout some nice medical antiques? bloodletting instruments, etc. antique false teeth. great for that hard-to-please person on your list.

a cased pair of duelling pistols.

a 400 year old fencing sabre.

rent a castle? too many great ones to choose from ... google search.

unusual villa rentals.

then again, why not go whole-hog and buy an island. some you can rent, too. [some of us blogging leftists oughta set up our own country, really.]

rent-a-husband. beer and tv remote, not included. or, just rent-a-butler.

or, some fallout shelter supplies. i mean, in this day and time everyone should own an operating geiger counter. you can also buy your own potassium iodide pills.

for that special someone freaked out by anthrax, hazmat suits and paraphernalia.

buy a trip on a barge from amsterdam to paris.

can't buy a real komodo dragon, but you can get a stuffed one.

you can always buy a venomous snake for that favorite person on your list. gaboon vipers come highly recommended, as do spitting cobras.

easterners can be completely politically incorrect by purchasing a deer feeder.

make a batch of homemade slime for everyone on your list.

or some cow patty's chocolate candy.

make someone a batch of buffalo chip cookies.

a warrior princess clock.

greater kudu horns (synthetic).

washington post: seems folks don't just go overboard at democratic events ... trent lott opens his cakehole, and makes a boo-boo. then again, maybe not.

someone misunderstood ... i was *kidding* about pat boone last evening.

just an aside, the cold morphed again ... i'm now singing excellent renditions of 'old man river.' basso profundo con phlegm.

speaking of which, i believe that's my occupation for this morning.

just a friendly reminder ... including today, you have eighteen shopping days until christmas.