mon 31 dec 01
well, we're looking at the last of 2001. on a personal level, this is somewhat of a milestone. i can't really articulate why, exactly, but i'll try. remember the movie '2001: a space odyssey'? that movie had an incredible impact on me when i was a youth. for some reason, the year '2001' became a goalpost in my life. i remember standing at high school graduation, trying to imagine what 2001 would be like ... leaden 'responsibility' and 'making a living' had not dimmed the far horizons of pure fantasy. oh, the glories i foresaw! needless to say, 2001 as reality has been both less and more than i could have hoped. it could never live up to those early imaginings... yet i always had faith.
i never contemplated what might come *after* 2001. 2002? not a thought. 2020? nary a daydream. when you're eighteen, your forties seem like the cusp of death. looks a lot different from here; feels a lot different too. sometimes passing through life feels like peeling away layers, trying to reach the core of individuality; sometimes like adding layers to reinforce personality. but omnipresent is that seed, that acorn (bows to james hillman) ... the essence of who we are, protected by our personal morality. i remind myself that the best path through life isn't just to *do* the right thing ... it's to *be* the right thing. then the proper route is revealed as a matter of course. 'i am ...' as opposed to 'i will ...'
the twentieth century was a particularly brutal era of human history. i believe there's still plenty of time to ensure that the twenty-first won't follow that same dismal route. i retain unshakeable faith in good outcomes (call me naive; i don't mind. pessimism comes to hand more easily than optimism in this world of ours today; i merely prefer to set my sights on higher ground, and work towards that goal.).
so, for me, i stand on the cusp of a new adventure. a journey uncontemplated. i'm quite excited, actually. i feel like bilbo the hobbit at the door of his beloved 'bag end', surveying the road ahead; who knows what is to be found over that next mountain range?
and on that note, i'll wish you and your families a very happy new year.